As you know from my previous blogs, we were told that the waiting period for a girl was about 12-18 months from the time we finished our homestudy, which would have put us at October as the earliest we could possibly get a referral. Of course, I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I figured it would be more like March of next year. We were in a waiting "lull" trying not to become anxious or impatient. The whole adoption thing seemed like a thing that "would happen someday." So, when our new social worker (our original one changed positions at the agency) left a message for us to contact her as soon as possible, I figured she needed more info about Chris's new job, or something like that. On May 1, I got a hold of her during a break at school and when she said, "I have a referral for you," the immediate response in my head was, "There's a mistake...she didn't read our file closely enough...it's probably a boy and we want a girl." Out loud I said (in a very calm voice), "Really..." She went on to explain that she realized this was sooner than we expected so she wanted to explain why this referral came our way so quickly. On our medical condition checklist, we indicated that we would consider a child whose birth family has a history of mental illness. Many other couples indicated that they would not look at a referral with this issue. The other important piece of information was that the mother specifically requested a Christian family. After Kendra (our social worker) finished the prelimary explanation of the situation, she asked if I wanted more details. Without hesitation, I told her I wanted everything she had, so after she filled me in verbally she e-mailed me the paperwork with biographical information and pictures. In a nutshell, three of the birth relatives on the mother's side have some undiagnosed mental retardation issues, but Hyeon Ah (soon to be Sophia) is developing normally. The minute I got off the phone and looked at those pictures, I was ecstatic. I tried to call Chris, but couldn't get ahold of him (FRUSTRATING!!!) I ran across the hall to Susan Jolivette's room...she wasn't there (FRUSTRATING!!!) So I ran over to the special education department and grabbed a co-worker, Laurie Cox, to get her professional opinion about the situation. After showing the pictures and discussing the situation with 4 special ed. professionals, I was even more excited because they all said she didn't seem to have any obvious facial features that would suggest mental retardation, and all the other information suggested that she is developing normally. Needless to say, it was hard to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon as I was trying to teach Language Arts and Social Studies. When Chris and I finally had a chance to talk, I tried to be very reserved in my reaction because I wanted to get a true sense of how he felt about the situation. He was shocked and amazed and excited about the possibility. It seems like a "no brainer" now, but at the time, we needed to spend a few day processing the information. We went to Rochester to visit Pete and Paula and Michael, and Paula really helped me think through some of the issues and research things on the internet. The information we found about mental retardation seems to suggest that a majority of the cases are not caused by hereditary factors. We also knew that Hyeon Ah tested negative for the Fragile X syndrome and she was obviously not a child with Downs Syndrome, so that ruled out 2 of the 3 major hereditary causes. We also decided that we should have the International Adoption Clinic at the U of M look over the referral and give us their opinion. We took time to pray about the situation and I really felt like I needed to talk to as many people as possible before deciding. With every friend and family member we talked to we came to the same conclusion: there is no guarantee that any child will develop normally so why would we turn down a referral of a perfectly happy and normally developing child? Also, anything very severe could be detected by now and if other issues develop along the way, she will be our daughter and we will deal with anything that comes just as any family cares for its children. On Tuesday, when the clinic e-mailed their response to the referral, that sealed the deal. The doctor basically said that there doesn't seem to be any obvious reasons why Hyeon Ah won't continue to develop normally. We had so much fun telling Jacob about his new baby sister! We got it on video, so maybe we'll share it sometime. He is so excited!
We had a hectic few days of gathering some paperwork and photos to send in our acceptance packet to Korea, but it got in the mail on May 14 and now we have a 10-14 week wait before travel. Korea will give us the "okay" and then we'll book the tickets immediately. We think it will most likely be in August. Chris and I will be in Korea for 4-5 days. Jacob will stay home with my sister's family. We are naming her Sophia Hyeon Ah Rose. Her birthday is August 3. We'll have to have a "gotcha" party/late birthday party for her as soon as she adjusts. I'm gearing up for a difficult adjustment because her bio said she is very attached to her foster mom and has "stranger anxiety" (doesn't every one-year-old?) So, please be praying for us, especially the flight home.
It'll be a fun summer preparing for our little girl. Here's a picture you've probably already seen, but isn't she adorable?
No comments:
Post a Comment